Descriptive Writing

Date: 22nd Mar 2016 @ 12:03pm

Write a description of this picture.

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Use different sentence types to make it interesting.

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Harrison wrote:

The scary house is dark,black and big

Mr Loftus wrote:

What a brilliant sentence, Harrison. I think your list sentence works really, but would have been even better if you had used a full stop.

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Cody wrote:

The dark scary house is so fogy I could not see a thing the gates closed on my back and I can see the light it was green and coming out of the house into my face I approached the door and opened it and the door gently opened.

Mr Loftus wrote:

What a wonderful description, but I think that you have missed some full stops. Have another look.

Cody wrote:

The dark scary house is so fogy, I could not see a thing. The gates closed on my back and I can see the light it was green and coming out of the house into my face. I approached the door and opened it, and the door gently opened.

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rhianna wrote:

I just moved house and the people said, well this.Is the only house that's left, I thing that it's spooky,frightning,pitch black and haunted but my mum and my dad though that it was great because they where day dreaming that the house was a ginger bread house because they like ginger but the moon was howling with joy and birds where flying around the house when i came in i looked at my bed room but the was nothing their so i had to sleep on the floor in the night rats come up to me lay on my head.

Mr Loftus wrote:

'The moon was howling with joy' what an amazing image I have in my head now.

Have another look and see if you have missed any full stops.

Alice wrote:

WoW Rhianna an amazing story!!!!!

Erin wrote:

Amazing story Rhianna!!!!!!πŸ‘

Amy wrote:

Fabulous story Rhianna.πŸ‘

Blossom wrote:

Well done Rihanna fabbb πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

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Dan wrote:

The house is dark,scary,creepy and frightening

Mr Loftus wrote:

A great list sentence. Remember your full stops.

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Joe wrote:

The house is spooky,dark and scary. There is a full moon and it is very foggy.

Francesca wrote:

Love your sentence Joe!πŸ‘

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Joel wrote:

The house is big,spooky scary . It has big gates in front of the house.

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Owen wrote:

The house is dark,creepy inside.There is a dark gate, scary dorr and deadly sceletons in the house.

Cody wrote:

Owen your writing is exelent because there is a list sentence and deadly skelotons wow well done

joel wrote:

have you been inside the house?

Felicity wrote:

Great sentence Owen!

Kai wrote:

Fantastic extended noun phrase Owen

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Joshua G wrote:

The scary mantion's smoke drifts upon my face while I tip toe towards the spooky, rickety gates. As soon as I walked past the gates, I creep across the damp, dark pathway to the black ,haunted looking house.I froze like a icicle when I got to the door ,but I knew I had to go in.

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steven wrote:

I went to a haunted,spooky house I was brave and I went in I heard bats flying around then a skeleton popped up I screamed and I RAN!!! I ran out haunted house.

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Alice wrote:

The dark,scary is as scary as a zombie.

Erin wrote:

Good extended noun phrase.

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Aaron wrote:

It's as dark as a cave.The haunted house is high , dark and scary.It's got weird looking bats flying round it.The haunted house is old and creepy.

Erin wrote:

Great list sentence.

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Joel wrote:

The house is spooky,dark and huge.

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Joel wrote:

The house is dark,spooky and foggy.It has a full moon and tall gates.I could see some green light through the window.The dark night sky and moon makes the picture even scarier.

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harrison wrote:

the horrible house is scary , big and black.

Erin wrote:

Use a capital letter at the start of your sentence.

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Joel wrote:

I could see a big, spooky hunted house, behind the house it had a huge full moon it made the picture a bit scarier. The mist looks like soul's surrounding the house . Dim green lights shining through the windows makes me think witches live there . πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

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Felicity wrote:

The dark, creepy house opens its gates every year on the 9th February with bats coming out as if they were guarding the house. The gates are never opened by a person they just automatically open.

Until, a boy called Robby happens to be walking by and realised the gates were closed. He said to himself, β€œthis can’t be right, the gates are all ways closed except on the 9th February like today. Any way never mind about all that boring stuff, let’s explore this cool house!” with that Robby started climbing the massive, rusty gate (even though his parents told him to go nowhere near the house.)

Because Robby is only 8 and it just turned midnight his parents were worried about him. They were about to call the police and said to themselves, β€œwoo woo the police are never going to believe us, we will just have to find him are self.” Then Robby’s dad shouted to his wife. β€œGet the car, love; we’re going to find our son!”

rhianna wrote:

Very good story did they find Robby.

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Erin wrote:

The tall , dark and mysterious house is under the bright , shining full moon.The bats are above the creepy house.

rhianna wrote:

I love your description of the house :)

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Charlotte wrote:

The haunted house is scary huge dark.β˜ βš°πŸ—‘

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Francesca wrote:

A big , old and creepy mansion.

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Lewis wrote:

Later that night, I went into the sinister, alarming, ghostly house. I walked bravely towards the creaking gates. I saw a light, green, reflecting window. The full moon made everything look black and creepy. I imagined that a vampire and a ghost was going to drag me through the black, creaking door. I heard the werewolf howl like the wind. I ran as fast as a cheetah back to my house and hid under my bed.

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Lucas wrote:

I crept towards the ancient ,crooked mansion. I felt petrified!!! My heart was pounding with fear. The green mist was sweeping towards the tall, creaking iron gates. As I tiptoed through, the iron gates slammed together behind me. I screamed and wanted to run but I couldn't because the gates jammed closed.

Suddenly I felt I was being watched... I looked up and saw four stone gargoyles. Their heads were moving 360 degree turns and their glowing orange eyes were staring at me.

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Alice wrote:

I was moving house and the address led to an old,crooked and scary home. πŸ‘»πŸ‘½πŸ‘»πŸ‘½ A witch opend the door.πŸ’€A load of monsters came out πŸ‘ΉπŸ‘Ή I went in I
RANNNN! I woke up " it was a dream yay."

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Harvey wrote:

At midnight the dark , petrifying mansion becomes even more creepy because the gargoyle's come alive! They suck the life out of their victims until they become stone. Sometimes you can hear the howl from a warewolf and the huge iron gates that keep the wolves out just open.

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Blossom wrote:

The scary , house is big black and terrifieying

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